


Good Days

by SierraWinchester



Series: JatP, my own personal universe [5]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV 2020)
Genre: Angst, Not betad, Sad, Unsaid Emily, because ao3 hates me, but from the parents pov, i die like Luke, lyrics, oops alex has a sister, this is formatted dumb, this sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 03:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29711094
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SierraWinchester/pseuds/SierraWinchester
Summary: Julie Molina brought the Patterson's something of their sons'.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Series: JatP, my own personal universe [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2145687
Comments: 9
Kudos: 47





	Good Days

**Author's Note:**

> Some of the formatting on this is garbage. I fixed it three times and ao3 laughed at my attempts. so, oh well. It will look dumb and it's written trash anyways. :)

Emily still couldn’t quite wrap her head around the fact that her son, her baby, had been dead twenty-five years this year. It still seemed like some sort of a fever dream even though the gray in her hair and the ache that settled deeper into her bones each day proved that theory wrong. Not a day went by that she didn’t regret losing him, and not just by hot dog, because she had lost him long before then. Twenty-five years had done little to dull the pain, only making the wound ache less when she didn’t let her mind wander to all the what ifs she had.

With that all being said, Emily thought of her son often, as did Mitch. They still celebrated his birthday, and bought him presents on Christmas that would forever fill the empty space he had left in his untouched bedroom. On the good days, Emily could still hear him singing in the kitchen as he burnt his eggs or imagine the lopsided grin on his face as he bounded down the stairs to head out to band practice. On the good days it was almost like her son was still around, though he’d never aged, never changed, because she could never know what that looked like.

Emily heard the doorbell and was quick to set down the beanie she was working on, the yarn the same shade of grey-ish blue that her son’s eyes had always reflected around this time of year, and head towards the front room. It wasn’t often that the Patterson’s got visitors, so she was curious who was here. Perhaps Gemma Mercer, who always stopped by around the boys’ birthdays and holidays, or maybe their neighbor Joshua who came over every few weeks to borrow something or other. What she didn’t expect was the young girl standing in the living room, looking nervous yet undeniably determined. She was here for something and she wasn’t going to leave without it. It made Emily’s broken heart ache with fondness as she caught a glimpse of Luke’s passion in this girl’s eyes.

“Did I hear the doorbell?” She smiled, standing beside her son, arm around his waist to steady them both.

“Oh, hi, hon. This is Julie,” He explained, shooting the girl a soft smile.

“Hi, Julie. That’s a beautiful sweater.” Emily commented, a smile adorning her face.

Julie smiled back, though Mitch and Emily could recognize the pain that swam behind her eyes anywhere. She had lost someone just as they had, “Thanks, it’s my moms’.”

Mitch stepped in, wanting Julie’s pain to wash away some, so he smiled back at his wife and explained why this stranger was in their home, “Julie lives in the house where Luke and the band rehearsed. She was just telling me she found a song that Luke wrote?” It came out like a question as he turned back to Julie, eyes on the paper still clutched in her grasp.

The breath Julie took in was quiet, but she kept her eyes on the crinkled paper as she spoke, “It’s a song about a girl named Emily?”

Emily felt the shock on her face, her feet propelling her to close the gap between them, “Oh….I’m Emily..”  
Julie met her eyes briefly, but as her emotions swam up through them, she ducked her head again. “Then I think your son may have written this song for you.”

Taking the paper, Emily stepped back so that she could read it and Mitch could, too. The words, written in such bad handwriting it had to be Luke’s, were scratched out a thousand times over and the ink had bled through in places where Luke had tried to make the words disappear into the ink.. Years of practice allowed both Patterson’s to read with little trouble, though it didn’t much matter. Neither would speak of it, but both could swear they could _hear _Luke singing the lyrics right to them.__

__**First things first  
We start the scene in reverse  
All of the lines rehearsed  
Disappeared from my mind  
When things got loud  
One of us running out  
I should've turned around  
But I had too much pride ******Emily swallowed hard, tears already fighting their way to her eyes, vision swimming with the. Beside her she could hear Mitch inhale shakily. This was Luke. Luke leaving. The last time that they had seen him. Well… the last time they had seen him before they had to identify his too pale body in the morgue. It was a formality and Mitch had been the one to sign the papers, but the image stuck in both of their heads as fresh as that first day. It was worse, as the memories flooded through both of their heads as the music continued, the lyrics on the page blobs of black, but that quiet voice still seeming to sing them. Luke had run away before, a handful of times as he grew up. He’d always come back a day or so later, often with clean clothes and an apology on his lips. So when he’d run out they had never expected to have to print up missing posters or to have to spend months just hoping he was okay. Neither of them had known where to look as his friends had only ever visited the Patterson residence and they both knew even if they had found Luke, he probably wouldn’t have come home easy. So they waited, expecting him to come home. In some ways he had...just not the way they expected. **No time for goodbyes  
Didn't get to apologize  
Pieces of a clock that lies broken ******These lyrics hit harder, the words holding a double meaning after their son’s death. He hadn’t said goodbye. He hadn’t ever seen a need to, as he clearly had always planned to return home. This song was his apology, though, and Emily could see that with every jagged letter he had written. Twenty five years later, though, and there was no need for it. Luke had been forgiven long before grass grew overtop of his grave. **If I could take us back, if I could just do that  
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace  
Then maybe time would not erase me  
If you could only know I'd never let you go  
And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave  
Unsaid Emily ******Mitch wished to go back, to convince his son to stay, to go and find him and beg him to just listen one more time. Emily wished she could show her son that he was never forgotten, his memory forever immortalized in every action that she did. Both Pattersons agreed that the words left unsaid, the ‘I love you’s and the apologies and the _praise were the biggest regrets of it all, though. Luke had died not knowing that his father spent every night for six months scouring neighborhoods with a warm coat and a bag full of snacks. Luke died not knowing that his mother spent every day staring out the windows, hoping to catch a glimpse of his shaggy hair, hoping to apologize for her mistakes and make him see that she was only worried. **Silent days, mysteries and mistakes  
Who'd be the first to break?  
Guess we're alike that way  
He said, she said  
Conversations in my head  
And that's just where they're gonna stay forever  
If I could take us back, if I could just do that  
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace  
Then maybe time would not erase me  
If you could only know I'd never let you go  
And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave  
Unsaid Emily  
If I could take us back, if I could just do that  
And write in every empty space the words "I love you" in replace  
Then maybe time would not erase me  
If you could only know I'd never let you go  
And the words I most regret are the ones I never meant to leave  
Unsaid Emily  
As the song came to an end they were both reminded of the night their lives changed forever. Sirens and flashing lights were never a good sign and Mitch had sworn all day that something was different, something was wrong. Emily had believed him, but there was nothing to be done but to wait. And they had… And on their porch step at eleven P.M. on a balmy evening in July their lives had been altered for forever. And here, standing with a different teen in front of them watching their reactions, both of them could feel the shift in the Earth again as things changed. Their son was never coming back and nothing could ever change that, but Julie had just given them something that neither of them had had in over two decades: peace. Luke had died standing up for something he believed in and proving everyone, including his parents, wrong. Luke had died loving music and writing music that would change the world and the people in it. And this song proved that. Gripping the paper close to her chest as if it might disappear if she didn’t Emily returned her eyes to Julie. “Thank you…” She sniffled, noticing that Julie too had been crying. Mitch comforted his wife as he warred with his own emotions of gratitude and the fresh waves of guilt and grief that spread their way through his veins like poison, “You have no...no idea..” She seemed to understand what he meant, her own tears sliding down her skin, “I write music in the same room that he did and I can tell you that it is a magical, happy place.” A smile graced her lips even as her voice cracked with emotion. Emily chuckled, leaning into her husband, more tears streaming. Luke was happy. He had left behind a presence happy enough to leave a mark on the space he’d been in. Even dead, he was still changing the world, still inspiring people with his music. Luke was happy. “That’s so nice to know,” Mitch replied, his thoughts echoing Emily’s. Relief followed his guilt now, icing it like a burn. They may have messed up and ruined the last time that they had with their son, but at the very least he hadn’t died miserable and bitter. “I know he was only seventeen when he…” She paused, seeming unable to speak the words. Quietly Mitch wondered if it was because of her own loss and how fresh it seemed. “But he lived doing the one thing he was born to do. Not many people find that, but Luke did. He was lucky.” Both adults nodded, agreeing with her assessment. She was right. Julie seemed to know a lot and it almost sounded as if she knew Luke, which of course was impossible, but it still swelled the Patterson’s hearts, hearing her talk like that. It almost made it seem as if he was still alive, still existing in some form. Emily spoke through the emotions clogging her throat, smiling despite the hurt, “It was _so _nice to meet you.” “It was nice to meet you, too.” Julie swore, sounding like she meant it in a way they didn’t understand. Luke had always had a charm to him, and it seemed even in death that held true. Emily smiled wider at the thought. Luke was so charismatic in his music that even twenty-five years after his death he had endeared himself to someone new. Hours after Julie had left and the song was safely framed with a photo of Luke taken a week before he left, Emily and Mitch sat in the quiet of their house, holding hands and reminiscing. Luke was dead and gone, but he would never be forgotten and his presence was still felt on the good days. And on the bad ones...well, Luke’s voice seemed to float around more and if sometimes Mitch came home and Luke’s lamp was on, or Emily finished baking cookies and the biggest one suddenly had what looked like a janky L carved into it….well, they would both just brush it off with a smile and a quiet whisper of ‘I love you.’__**___


End file.
